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falling in love…

In the midst of turmoil, love came to town in the most amazing, unexpected way.  I had been working at a rehabilitation center coaching and leading groups.  The owners called me in to a meeting to talk about their vision and moving forward.  They were importing their nephew from England to work at the center, lead groups and create an identity program.  I was told said nephew was a leader for Anthony Robbins, and a long list of his pompous  accomplishments, and we would work nicely together.  I had a vision of this obnoxious Britt invading my comfy space I had created at work, and changing the atmosphere from a loving, peaceful environment to a ra-ra freak show, Tony Robbins-esque.  I was not excited.
A few weeks went by and I had completely forgotten about the nephew, caught up in my own drama and happily moving forward in my new life.  I was in my office, it was a Friday morning and I had just finished coaching a client.  There was a knock at my door, and in walks Molena with her nephew from England.  I nearly froze.  I’m pretty sure my jaw was on the ground, as a combination of Tom Cruise and 007 introduced himself to me as Lee, the nephew.  I believe I didn’t even filter myself.  I said something like, “THIS is your nephew?”  He was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on, and on top of his charm he had a British accent.  I got up from my desk to shake his hand.  Our eyes locked and I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.  I might have been drooling.  We had a quick chat, and at the end of our tete-a-tete, he asked me for a six-second hug.  I nearly melted as his strong arms wrapped around me.  Molena forgot to mention that her nephew was a personal trainer as well, so those arms were strong and well defined.  Yum. 

I remember I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face for the rest of the day.  I was floating on a cloud.  How in the world was I supposed to work with this guy?  Was she kidding?  She forgot to mention that he was drop-dead gorgeous,  had been studying personal growth since he was a teen, so we could actually have an inspiring conversation, incredibly well read, kind, and had a similar vision as me. Small details in the big picture.

I don’t think I wiped the smile off my face for at least two weeks. I had a constant grin hoping I wouldn’t end up looking like the joker. My now uncle, Phil tells a very funny story of a slow motion love story every time we locked eyes coming in and out of the elevator. I literally felt as if I was in a dream.

We were both very busy at the center and one day decided to go for coffee after work to get to know one another, as we had intended on doing groups together. Coffee turned into a full evening as we were never at a loss for words. It seemed to me this meeting had a Divine plan.

Within the next year we were married. My now husband Lee had never been married before, and my mom calls me Elizabeth Tayor. Read between the lines. I believe in love, marriage and not letting difficult relationships get in the way of following your heart. And my heart said yes to this beautiful man, and I am very happy. We still work together. We even share an office. Many of our clients and co-workers ask us how we spend so much time together and still enjoy each-other’s company. Well, we love the same things, have the same vision in our own unique way, and coaching together just works. Oh…and we communicate. That’s a big one. We both strive to be the healthiest version of ourselves, and I believe that is the key. We’re not afraid to speak our truth and look at ourselves, even when it hurts. It is meant to be, I do know that for sure.

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Empowering your life with Happiness

I am very blessed to be working with amazing people at Lifescape Solutions, a recovery center for addictions and traumas. The owners have built this loving space from the ground up, and in just a few years it has established itself as having one of the lowest re-lapse rates. They are doing quite a few things right! Where do I fit in? A happiness coach in a rehab center? This is a spiritually based recovery center where the owners are passionate about giving the clients the self-help tools to leave the center empowered, hence the low re-lapse rate. They have formed a team whose initiative is to find the missing link between recovery and RECOVERY, and empower the clients with the skills to be confident in the real world so they can handle what life brings them without using. One of the things that I emphasize as a happiness coach is self-help and self-love. It’s easy to get quite cozy here and become reliant on therapy, coaching, and all of the support available..but what happens when the bird is ready leave the nest? Fear, anxiety, the stress of the real world and responsibilities…those are all triggers for entertaining old habits, hence the need for self-help tools.
Happiness is our natural state when we give up our story. Self love is our ticket to freedom. When we love ourselves and recognize we are perfect just the way we are, with all our perceived flaws and inadequacies, we enhance our ability to live free from our judgements that tell us we are not OK…a BS story. That crazy BS story holds us back from living our best life, and holds us back from being truly available to love others. How can we love others if we don’t love ourselves? We can’t…at least we can’t do it authentically. One of the things we discuss in groups is the ability to recognize that self-love is our choice. When we stop judging ourselves all that is left is a clean palette open to love and peace. But who are we without our stories? This is a inquiry that begs us to get real and explore our truth. Our stories give us purpose and identity. And is this identity serving us or hindering us? If it’s hindering us from love, it’s time to create a new story. And since we are the authors of our life…what a fabulous tale we get to write!

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What is Your Vision?

I am alone this morning and it is very rare that I get to spend time with just me. It’s really pleasant. It’s early morning, the rain is humming in the background, my candles are lit, and I am thinking about how blessed I am. Today I get to go to work.
Yes, I get to go…in good health, surrounded by loving people, supported and encouraged by my employer, counting my blessings. I was poking around on Facebook and was inspired by some quotes and encouraging words. I decided it was time to write again. I haven’t written in a while.
I have these fantastic coasters (I’m going somewhere with this) in my living room. My coffee cup is sitting on one of them. They all have inspiring quotes on them. “Put all anxious thoughts aside and be at peace’ holds my cup. Imagine doing that for a moment. Just breathing and letting the world love you as-is. That I find is the challenge for most of us…loving ourselves unconditionally without strings attached. I work with many woman (clients) who find self-love the most challenging. These beautiful, courageous woman have been conditioned to believe their happiness is outside of themselves, and the past defines who they are. The past is tool for us to learn from, to use as an experiment to show us what we like and don’t like, what feels good and what doesn’t feel good. It is an opportunity to learn about ourselves. It only defines us if we choose to act from it and continue to play the role.
We can choose again. We can re-create our lives and live from a place of happiness, joy, love and appreciation. It’s all in our vision. Our vision creates our life. Choose a happy, positive vision. Remind yourself of your strengths, your blessings, and recognize how you have been held by a force you cannot explain. See how you are loved. I am counting my blessings today that I have time to share this, and that in my few moments of me time I choose to focus on what I have, and confidently know that focusing on my blessings brings more blessings, and that feels good!

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Forgiving and Letting Go

OK…so I am working crazy hard on forgiveness. Posting forgiveness quotes for my benefit…walking around reciting a forgiveness meditation wherever I go…it’s not working. So I allow, allow myself to feel angry. Hey, it’s better than sad.

I have always been a very forgiving person, to the tune of becoming a professional doormat. When I finally realized becoming the healthiest version of me meant forgiving and letting go, I started to grow and experience growing pains. That’s what walking into our fear does for us. It allows us to face what frightens us, feel that discomfort stepping into new territory, and finally, become empowered. I love that Marianne Williamson speech, “Our deepest fear” which reminds me that playing small does not serve the world. It reminds me that I am here in this lifetime to face my fears, walk into the fire, and come out stronger, empowered, more comfortable in my own skin, and living my most authentic life.

I commit to living my most empowered life. Being angry only hurts me and the people around me that I love, because my anger reflects in my current relationships. It is serving no one, only hurting me. So here’s to LETTING GO, counting my blessings and stepping into my own power. All it takes is my own commitment and enough self-love to allow myself to love better, not take things personally, and live the most loving life I am ready to live today.

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Healing with Love

Today, a client said to me, “do you know how blessed you are to work here? Do you really know how special this place is?” I said yes. This client is a seasoned family therapist…and quite a good one. So I was pretty sure she new what she was talking about, considering therapy is her business.

I am very blessed to say my dream of spreading happiness and making a living doing it has come true. While I do workshops and see private clients, my main gig is at Lifescape Solutions, a rehabilitation center for addictions and mental health disorders.
Every day I literally think to myself, I can’t believe I am on staff and being paid to simply show up as me, a happiness coach and spokesperson for love and truth. Pretty cool huh? I believe what makes this place so special, and their success rate at 70% as opposed to the norm of 40%, is the fact that the owners believe in a magnificent recipe of love and spiritual healing. And it works.

I am surrounded by alternative healers at Lifescapes. There is a trans-medium on staff, a holistic physician who lived and studied with the Dalai Lama for eight years, a chi-gong expert, meditation, sound healing bowls, vibrating serenity beds equipped with healing music, chiropractors, art therapy, martial arts, yoga, hypnotherapy, Gestalt therapy, daily trips to the gym, an NLP expert, family advocates…and most of all, the most passionate owners I have ever seen. There job is not a job, it’s a passion and commitment to changing the way healing is approached using alternative techniques that feel quite spa-like, and most of all, are very loving. And isn’t the secret to healing as simple as love? My teacher, Robert Holden says all addictions are a call for love and I always remembered that, having no idea I would spend the majority of my day healing by loving.

I remember the day I was hired. My dear friend Julie who teaches improv (another alternative vehicle for healing) at Lifescapes got me an interview, and I met with a lovely woman named Renee. When she asked me what I do, I remember being 100% me and telling her I love unconditionally. Can you imagine saying this in an interview? And her response was “that’s exactly what the clients need”. And I was hired. TRU DAT! Can you imagine being hired to be the presence of love? To this day, the owners have no idea what I do. And they comically remind me of that quite often. They just know the clients feel loved in my class, and love heals…and it works! A lot of the clients have been judged for so long, they simply need to feel loved and cared for, and reminded o their true essence. That is exactly what they get at Lifescapes. Tons of love, tons of caring, and tons of un-traditional, spiritual healing.

I work with the most amazing people and feel so blessed everyday to be able to show up as me. It is so very exciting to watch this place grow, and watch the clients flourish! I am amazed at the trauma many of them have experienced. And more amazed as they learn to love themselves, and completely re-habilitate in a matter of months. I remember a young man arriving within the first two weeks of my being there. I was running a mental health group and asked him to share his story. My jaw was on the floor (I tried to be cool) during the hour and a half saga that this twenty-four year old told, and he was a mess. I really thought to myself, how is this kid gonna change? And now he has a phenomenal job in marketing at a well-known firm and is a beautiful example of determination, mindfulness, and miracles. Another one of my favorite stories is of a very hardened thirty something man who had committed crimes, been involved in gangs and had a very rough life. When I first met him, I was honestly a little put off by him, as he walked out of my group within minutes. He had no interest in hearing about love. As the weeks went on I watched this man soften, and look forward to my classes, and then become one of the most vocal participants. As we got to know each-other over six months, he shared with me that after his treatment he was going back home and going to jail for at least seven years. Over time his hardened exterior faded, and he devoured all the spiritual classes and became completely devoted to the spiritual therapy at Lifescapes. My heart is big thinking about this man and his story and his huge turn-around I was so blessed to see. Before he left for home, sure of his destiny behind bars, we had a talk. He was feeling anxious (who could blame him) and I remember inviting him to be present, and suggesting that he let go of the idea of prison, and be open to letting life take it’s course, whatever that may be. What we focus on is what we tend to experience, and no matter what his fate, focusing on prison didn’t feel good, so why give it air time? Be here now, and trust in life to love you, no matter what that looks like. I remember that day well. I remember where I was sitting, the hat he was wearing, and wondering if I was comforting him at all. A few months have passed, and this client went home to face his fate. Love showed up and miracles do happen. The judge was very pleased with the client’s progress and rehabilitation. The client did not go to jail, and was awarded custody of his daughter. Miracles happen when you trust and love, and I am so grateful to be able to experience the most amazing people who show up in desperate need of love, and receive just that in the center. I have fallen in love there in more ways than one. For more information about this unique healing center, you can find more information at www.lysepublishing.com

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Trusting in Life

I have been away for a while, loving life and letting life love me. Gently reminding myself that through each change is opportunity for personal growth and wisdom. Sometimes I ask myself, “did I really sign up for this?”, and I know the answer is YES. I have a friend who reminds me to ask for the courage and strength to handle what I am given, and that I am doing.
I have recently gone through a dramatic life change and I am amazed at how held I have been through all of the change. I lead groups and coach at a recovery center, Lifescape Solutions in Delray Beach. One of my mantras that I frequently share with the groups is about trusting in Divine Law. I certainly do. Divine law housed me through my life change, funded me, loved me and supported me in ways only explained by miracles. I do trust that when we believe in a power greater than ourselves, we prove the belief to be true.
Just in time I had house sitting gigs show up, sublets become available, the funds required for housing lovingly offered, brand new furniture gifted to me…the list goes on. I have experienced miracle after miracle which some may call coincidence, but I know better. Life shows up and supports us when we allow and I am practicing allowing. I certainly do not have it down to a science, though I have an agreement with myself to STOP when I notice I am telling myself unhealthy stories. My experience as of late is the only proof I need that we are creators of our own life experience. The world is here to love us and like us and teach us. It is a pleasure to be a student, even though being the healthiest version of ourselves asks us to step up and be big…and that can be painful. I am reminding myself as I write that being big is our gift to everyone in our path. And gift giving is our right and an honor. The opportunity to step through our fears to be authentic in our life is constantly being offered to us. Saying YES to that offer is our ticket to freedom. And we are here to be free. The phrase “let go and let God” comes to mind…sounds about right right now. Blessings counted!

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