Keeping our Ego in Check

The ego at times gets a bad reputation. And it’s not at all bad. It gives us our personality, our passion, our drive, our desire to help others, create and participate in the world.
It can be the source of problems when we believe it’s desires will bring us happiness. Things in life can encourage our happiness, but no-thing in life can make us happy. Not even my handsome hubby. He’s really pretty perfect for me, and if I rely on him for my happiness, i’m in big trouble. Who would want that responsibility anyway?

Our ego is taking over when we become attached to it’s insatiability. When we believe “I’ll be happy when…” we are allowing our ego to be in charge. Temporarily, we may experience an elevated level of happiness, like when us ladies get a new pair of fabulous shoes, finally buy the car we have had our eye on, get that dream job…yes, all those things can bring us joy, yet the joy will be fleeting. You know what I mean. I’m sure you’ve all had had the experience of getting that thing you desire, feeling really psyched for a little while, and then returning to that same level of happiness you had before you got the ‘thing’, now desiring a bigger one, or a newer one, or a different one. Why? Because things don’t bring us happiness. Happiness comes from within.

So how do we keep this insatiable monster in check? We recognize when it’s ruling our world. As long as we’re aware, the ego is no problem. Like I said, it does provide us with passion, drive, desire and creativity.

Here are a couple of simple ways to check in to see if what you desire is ego driven, or authentic.

1)Check in with your heart:

Is it good for me?
Is it good for others?
Is it for the greater good?
Is it coming from a selfish space?

2)Look at the situation from an objective standpoint.

Take yourself out of the equation.
Would you still respond in the same manner if there are no strings attached?

3)When it comes to love, does the love come with conditions?
I only love you when you buy me flowers, I only love you when you love me in a certain way. I only love you if you have a good job. I only love you when you are in a good mood.

When we are not concerned with gaining approval, being right, having the last word, or gaining a certain title, we not letting the ego get in the way of our happiness. There is nothing wrong with desires and goals, it’s just a matter of being aware of the source. Being aware takes the pressure off of yourself and others, creates healthier relationships, and more authenticity.


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