There was a time in my life when I was super hard on myself. I was convinced I had to be a size 2, have the approval of others in order to be OK, and stayed in toxic relationships for fear there was nothing better.

This unhealthy behavior caused me a heck of a lot of stress, and kept me quite busy. I was afraid to gain a pound so I would decline invitations to parties for fear I would not be able to control myself (exhausting), I worried all of the time what others thought, and spent most of my time babysitting my relationships for fear they might shatter. And, I stayed in friendships and romantic relationships for all of the wrong reasons. And then I stopped. I stopped when I realized my self-acceptance was lacking, and I was at the mercy of others for approval.

My life has become a heck of a lot easier now that I know I’m OK as-is. The only approval I need is my own, and I’m always one thought away from self love. As-is gets a bad rap because we think there’s something wrong with just being OK with yourself regardless of our circumstances. But here’s the truth, the most important life-philosophy is the philosophy you have about yourself. How you view yourself has everything to do with how you view others, and the relationships you create, what you feel you deserve and don’t deserve, what you get and don’t get. You see, not accepting yourself is like building a house on quicksand. Good luck with that! In order to build a solid house, you must have a solid foundation. The same goes with life. In order to have a happy life, we must build a foundation of self-love. If we are constantly beating ourselves up, we will find we beat up our relationships too and spend most of our time cleaning up a mess that we created due to our feeling of self lack. So, the million dollar question is, how do we begin to be alright with ourselves after a hundred (I’m exaggerating) years of dis-approval?

Stop the lies and start praising!

A few tips to begin on your journey of As-Is is ALRIGHT!

1) First thing in the morning, write a list (keep it by your bedside table) of 3 things you like about yourself. Each day find 3 more things that you can stand by and be proud of…yes…about you! Don’t be shy…brag…get silly with it. If you have really good nail beds and that’s all you can muster up one day…cool!

2) At night before bed, write a list of ‘what went well today’. My husband and I do this together most every night. Write at least 3…see if you can get to 5. So often we focus on what’s going wrong in our life. When you remind yourself what went well, you put yourself in a good frame of mind before bed, and you feel good…and that’s the goal! (feeling good!)

3) I am enough! Put this everywhere! On your mirrors, post it notes at your desk, screen savers, reminders in your phone…plaster this sentence all over the place and say it out loud. I AM ENOUGH is an incredibly powerful statement, and it’s a fact! Most of us just don’t believe it. SO, with reminders everywhere, it’s possible to change how we feel about ourselves.

Try out these tips to get rid of the old stories and welcome in some new, fresh, clean thoughts. When you change how you feel about yourself, the world around you changes. Remember, you can’t give away what you don’t have, so if you want to have loving relationships, it’s got to start with loving YOU!


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