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“How do I find joy?”

My client asked me. “There is nothing to find, it is within you,” the answer no one wants to hear. And it’s true. Joy is a state of mind. it is our natural state of mind.
I played a little game with myself this morning when I went to the beach after my 7am yoga ‘work in’ (rather than work out) as coined by the yoga instructor.
I played the game, WOW. Yep. I just brilliantly named it. I imagined how I would feel, walking along the tiny, bohemian streets of Delray, headed to the beach, if I just plopped into my body, kinda like the quantum leap guy…with no attachments to the past, no limiting beliefs, just completely in awe of the current surroundings. Wow, I thought to myself. This is joy. I allowed myself to experience the gift of the present moment. Beach, agile body walking to the beach, hot sun on my skin, birds chirping. the aliveness of the morning, the awesomeness of the ocean.
When my client asked me how to find joy, I did give her some steps, as humans we like steps and we like plans with outcomes. Do I know we don’t need steps? Sure do. Do they come in handy as a guide at times? Sure do. So, I know it’s killing you….read on…here are the steps.
Acceptance. Whatever the situation may be, accept it rather than fight against it. Acceptance means I surrender to the now, I may have an intention to improve or change, if that is the desired outcome, and, I accept the situation as it is. Acceptance is the foundation to create, to begin again.
Presence. Be present. Our contentment is in the now, no where else. In the present moment, everything is OK. Anything that must get done will, and at present, we are safe.
Gratitude. Imagine the gratitude in most situations when we stop judging and comparing, get out of our way, experience what is. I felt tremendous gratitude this morning for many reasons. Yoga with my BF, we did the practice with our eyes closed…super cool, outdoor shower (always a plus) beach chair in car, always prepared for impromptu beach stops, Kombucha after yoga…yum, and the insight to recognize the joy.
Joy is our innate state without our story. It is presence. It’s the quantum leap moment of recognizing that we get to play this game, and how incredible our experience can be when we get out of our way.

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Dis-empowering Drama

Do you know people who thrive on drama? Something is always wrong in their life, they play the victim well? Drama actually produces an adrenaline rush, and can serve as pleasing and exciting. Unknowingly, a need is being fulfilled, and the drama serves a purpose, fills a void.

There are some in the world who seem to jump from one challenge to the next, always experiencing chaos, bringing close friends and family into the mix. They just can’t seem to ‘catch a break’. Others feel their bad fate is just the way it is, because they do not deserve anything better, or ‘this is typical of my life.’

Both are neither plagued or destined for a negative life experience. They are, unconsciously drawing these situations into their life, in fact creating them. Not by choice, in some cases by craving attention, enjoying the addiction of drama, and playing the role of victim. How do we dispel this unconscious action? First by recognizing that everything we experience is a manifestation of how we feel on the inside. If we feel lacking, we will experience lack. If we feel unworthy, we will experience circumstances that show us, ‘See, I’m not worthy. None of my relationships work out.’ If we feel we are not good enough, we will never get the job we want, relationship we want, or life experience we want. All of these stories begin on the inside, and are reflected right back to us. Yuck and yum…the yuck is the realization of our responsibility in life, yum is the hallelujah that we can change it.

The next step is to stop blaming the outside, and to look at our role in life as creators. Sometimes just by having the insight to see things on a deeper level, or the bigger picture, the healing begins, and we can begin to see the value in the lessons.

Many people living in drama are actually fearful of a life without it, especially in a family setting, where it holds much value to those who fear abandonment. With the drama comes an importance, and a guarantee of ‘you will never leave me’. Affection- seekers thrive on this and feel an indulgence in playing the victim role. That role actually becomes safe.

By stepping back and connecting the dots in our life, we begin to see more clearly. The good news is that with any situation, we can slow down, breathe, and wait to react before creating chaos. Life happens and sometimes it is unpleasant, and by taking action from a calm, internal living space, all drama can be defused when we choose peace, re-evaluate the drama’s role in our life, and begin to create space around it, rather than creating more of it.

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